I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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