New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
