so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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