It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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