i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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