So drunk its hurt
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
