were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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