their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
