i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize