I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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