so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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