the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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