My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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