everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
