she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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