The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
is that a dick in a sweater?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize