Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
