Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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