Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I enjoy the company of your penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
