I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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