Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize