She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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