She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
