my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
