It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
