i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
