Will you blow on my dice?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
