Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
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Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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