I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
