yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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