Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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