I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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