how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize