We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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