I'm lost and stupid without you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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