I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
