Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
