I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
