What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
