All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
