You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
