pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He felt like a one man threesome
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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