I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
