soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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