i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
