you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
