i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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