i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
