Need sex. Gaining weight.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
