never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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