wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just invented taco cereal.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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