I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
