i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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