so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
