I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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