weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
3 2 1 whiskey
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
