i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
