so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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